8 Simple Ways to NOT Keep Your Goals

What follows is a sarcastic stab at goal-keeping. This is not a one-size-fits-all attempt to cram a (failure) method down your throat. So, with that out of the way, I present to you…

8 Simple Ways to NOT Keep Your Goals:

  1. Don’t make any goals.

You can’t fail at what you don’t even start, am I right? No? If you don’t make any goals, you’re already losing—I mean, winning. Yes, I definitely meant to say winning.

  • Procrastinate.

It can wait. Seriously. Success can always wait. Successful people are always putting things off to when they feel like it. Everything can wait until the last minute.

  • Make too many goals.

All the goals. Seriously. Make so many that there is no way humanly possible to get even 1% of them done.

  • Beat yourself up when you fall short.

Because traumatizing yourself is a sure-fire way to calm yourself down so you’re able to think clearly and rationally as you assess your next best move.

  • Psych yourself out.

Panic is your friend! Remember: only the fizzy pop cans explode when you shake and open them.

  • Don’t use accountability if you need it.

If you want to succeed at failing, you cannot bring anyone else into it. Suffer alone and without guidance.

  • Don’t ask for help.

Bootstraps, baby. Bootstraps. Because we all have those.

  • Make your goals too lofty.

Aim for the moon, fall through the atmosphere as you disintegrate into stardust.


Do you make daily/weekly/monthly/yearly goals? What are your secrets to meeting them?

Keep your nose in a book,


DEATH’S KEY (book 3 of The Goblets Immortal trilogy) is out now!

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